Little Lily. Chapter 18. April Rain
It was raining that day. It covered Okinawa in a gray, weightless mist of water.
This rain was nothing like the fierce winter storms; it was quiet, endless, and so fine that it felt like the very air had suddenly become tangible, damp, and brackish, rather than drops falling from the sky. It erased boundaries: the hills dissolved into the sky, Cape Kiyan faded into the leaden haze of the ocean, and the entire island seemed submerged in transparent, warm river depths. The pandanus leaves under this rain merely grew heavy, dropping water into the red clay with a dull, sparse thud, like the tapping of old prayer beads.
Early in the morning, an old army truck rolled out of Mawashiasato—a dark-green Studebaker with scuffed sides, procured through an engineering battalion not without the silent assistance of Umi Sanchez. The vehicle lurched heavily over the bumps, its wheels sinking into the waterlogged track heading to the southernmost tip of the island—toward Itoman, to the village of Ihara.
In the bed of the truck, secured with thick hemp ropes, lay a stone.
It was local coral limestone—fragile in appearance, but a stubborn, porous skeleton of the island itself. Old Goro Kato, Nanami’s father, had searched for it for two weeks among the ruins of Shuri’s destroyed walls. This stone remembered the sea from which it had risen thousands of years ago, and the war that had scorched it with gray soot. Goro had carved out of it an austere four-sided pillar slightly taller than a man. Three of its sides remained rough, retaining traces of shells and ancient coral pores, but the front face had been leveled and polished to a matte, silky sheen. The old man had carved every character by hand, leaving tiny, white chips inside the figures, like grains of unmelting ice.
Goro himself rode right there, in the back. He sat on a low crate, a tarpaulin-covered bag with chisels and a heavy wooden mallet resting on his knees. His hands—gnarled, with fingernails darkened by embedded lime dust—lay motionless, like two cooled stones. Beside him sat Nanami, wrapped in Soma’s jacket thrown over her silk kimono. The cloth smelled of fish and damp timber, and this mundane scent of the Makishi market seemed right now like the only reliable thing in a world filled with gray moisture.
Behind the truck, keeping its distance so as not to catch liquid clay in its ruts, came the Willys. Ren Kimura sat silently at the wheel, staring through the windshield where wipers crawled lazily. In the back of the jeep, sheltered beneath the canvas top, sat Yuriko, Miko, Kohaku, and Hinata.
The boy was quiet. Usually talkative, constantly asking about everything he saw along the road, now he simply pressed his shoulder against Yuriko’s and watched the wet ferns floating past. The day before, Yuriko had tried for a long time to explain to him where they were going and why, choosing simple, un-frightening words, but Hinata seemed to have understood everything in his own way—through that special, grown-up silence that had settled in their plywood house for a whole week.
The air in the back of the jeep was dense with moisture. Miko sat up straight, her hands on her knees. Her face seemed carved from the same limestone that lay in the first vehicle.
“It’s terrifying to go back,” Yuriko said softly, barely moving her lips, as she watched the fog cling to the tops of the roadside banyans. “A year has passed, Miko. But it feels as though if I just close my eyes—that smell is there again…”
Miko didn’t turn her head, but her fingers on her knees tightened almost imperceptibly.
“It is terrifying,” she echoed. “Maybe it’s right that we agreed and didn’t put it in Shuri. Remember what that prefecture official said? ‘The school hill needs to be cleared for new barracks, and memory should be at the center’… Perhaps he was right.”
“No,” Yuriko shook her head. “Not barracks—a school. And Seiko and Usagi said the same thing. Let the school be a school. Our tent is there, children are learning to read there, arguing over pencils, look at Hinata collecting shell casings… Life should be there. And the monument… yes, the monument should stand by the cave. Where their silence remained.”
Miko said nothing, but nodded imperceptibly. A school for the living. A cave—for eternity.
The Third Surgical Bunker in Ihara met them with a dead, frozen stillness. The earth here was pitted with craters where rusty water had pooled. The gama itself—a natural cave in the thickness of the limestone—gaped among thickets of wild pandanus like a black, unhealing wound. Its entrance had partially collapsed from explosions, and the ceiling inside was blackened with old soot. Here, it still smelled different from the humid jungle: breaking through the aroma of wet greenery was the heavy, cold scent of burned lime, of rusty iron—if iron can have a scent—and of that suffocating phosphorus smoke that seemed to have eaten into the porous stone for centuries.
People had already gathered near the entrance. There were about fifty of them. They stood on the trampled clay clearing under black paper umbrellas or simply with pieces of canvas thrown over their heads. Here were the relatives of the deceased—mothers in dark pre-war kimonos, old fishermen from the nearby town of Itoman who had come in their woven hats. Slightly ahead stood the surviving girls from the Himeyuri unit—Seiko, Usagi, and several other students located in distant refugee camps. They stood in a tight group, shoulder to shoulder, in their clean, patched work coveralls. No one spoke. Only the monotonous, lulling rustle of rain on leaves could be heard.
The truck stopped at the edge of the clearing. The engine sputtered and fell silent. Soma was the first to vault over the side, his wooden prosthesis thudding dully against the wet ground. Clay immediately clung to the sole, but ignoring the slippery sludge, he took hold of the ropes alongside Nanami’s father and three local men.
They unloaded the stone slowly, by hand. You could hear the men breathing heavily, raspy, and Soma’s prosthesis sinking with a creak into the yielding red soil. At last, the pillar stood in its prepared spot—a small mound of natural rocks right before the dark maw of the cave.
Old Goro approached the cenotaph, carefully removed the canvas covering it, and stepped back.
The rain instantly washed over the gray surface of the limestone. The porous coral stone began greedily absorbing moisture, darkening before their eyes. Because of this, its texture stood out more clearly: thin veins of pinkish and bluish hues, hidden until then by dry stone dust, surfaced on the front face like veins on a wrist.
At the top of the pillar, large and deep, the words were carved: “Monument to the Himeyuri Unit.”
Below were the names. The lists Seiko and Usagi had gathered bit by bit on scraps of cardboard boxes, old Goro had transferred onto the stone with absolute, submissive accuracy. Line by line. The names of the students, the names of the teachers. Dozens of names of those whose deaths were confirmed, and dozens of names of those who remained here—in the darkness of their final refuge under the attack of phosphorus grenades, and those who perished later on the cliffs of Mabuni. At the very bottom, near the base, a final line stretched in thin lettering: “The remaining names are unknown. May they not be forgotten.”
People began to approach the monument. Slowly, one by one. There were no speeches here, no official representatives of the American administration or prefectural addresses. This was their own quiet Okinawan grief that required no interpreters.
An elderly woman in a black kimono sank to her knees right in the mud. Her hands, trembling with grief, touched the carved characters. She was searching for her daughter’s name. Finding it, she pressed her palm to the stone and froze, her head lowered. Rain trickled down her graying hair, fell onto the limestone, and it seemed as if the stone were drinking those tears, sharing them half-and-half with the mother.
Usagi and Seiko stepped forward together, holding modest bouquets of wild flowers—purple haibisukasu bells and pink tinsagu, gathered that morning by the road. They placed them at the base, where the coral pillar met the earth. Their faces were pale, but calm. In their silence, there was none of the former camp anguish; it was the quiet of people who had fulfilled their duty to the dead.
Yuriko stepped forward. Miko walked half a step behind.
As Yuriko approached the cenotaph, it felt as though that very same unbearable, suffocating heat of June ’45 wafted from the cave’s dark void. Her heart pounded in her ears—fast, frantic. She felt afraid, truly, down to the trembling in her knees. She felt that if she turned around right now, she would see the gray army blankets, hear the groans of the wounded and the groundwater dripping from the ceiling.
She extended her left hand and placed her palm against the wet face of the pillar.
The limestone was cold. But beneath that chill, Yuriko suddenly felt the barely perceptible, deep warmth of the earth heated by April’s breath. Her scars—pale, resembling lily petals—pressed against the rough coral surface. And in that moment, the fear released her. As if those who had screamed in the dark, those who had suffocated from smoke in this gama, had finally found their home here, in this stone. They were no longer trapped in the darkness under the collapsed ceiling. Now their names stood in the light, washed by the clean April rain.
“We have returned,” Yuriko thought, closing her eyes. “We placed it here. Let the school be for the children. And you stay here, under the protection of this island.”
Miko stood beside her. She didn’t touch the limestone. She looked at the pillar directly, sternly, like a sentry who has finally waited for the relief of the guard and is handing over the post. Her face was wet from the rain, but her eyes remained dry and clear.
Little Hinata slipped out from under Kohaku’s parachute silk. He approached the stone very closely, squatted down, and gently placed a tiny, crumpled wild chamomile flower on the brown clay, which he had been hiding in his fist all this time. The flower lay right by the last, nameless line. A raindrop fell into its center, sparkling like a tiny crystal facet.
By noon, people began to disperse. The gray watery veil grew thicker, turning into a damp fog that slowly crept in from the ocean. People left in silence, in small groups, carrying their black umbrellas with them. The clearing before the cave emptied, returning to its age-old, natural solitude.
Yuriko and Miko walked to the Willys last. The clay squelched heavily under their wooden geta. Soma and Nanami were already helping Hinata into the truck cabin.
Stopping at the foot of the hill, Yuriko turned to look back at the monument one last time.
And then she saw him.
He stood off to the side, about twenty meters from the cave, right at the jungle’s edge. Minato Kobayashi.
The teacher stood beneath the sprawling, heavy branches of a huge old banyan tree whose aerial roots hung down to the very ground, looking like gray streams of a frozen downpour. He wore the same faded, pale-gray yukata, soaked through and clinging to his thin, stooped body. He was without an umbrella. His left, paralyzed arm hung limply in a dirty cloth sling that had turned almost black from the water. His right hand feverishly clutched a bamboo cane sinking into the slush, his knuckles white.
Water ran down his face—along the deep, crimson scar left by shrapnel, over his sunken cheeks, trickling behind the rims of his round glasses. One lens was shattered, and through the film of water covering the cracks, his right eye seemed huge, murky, and infinitely lonely.
He did not approach the monument. As if he did not dare step across the invisible line between the forest and the cave. Between life and death.
Yuriko saw his sister, Hisa, walking slowly among the departing people. From time to time she looked back at her brother, her face under the paper umbrella full of anxiety and quiet, accustomed pain. But she did not go to him. She knew that here, before this gama, her brother had to stand alone. This was his place. His personal, lifelong circle of hell.
Kobayashi did not cry. In his motionless gaze fixed on the coral pillar, there was no remorse, no plea for forgiveness, no fear. There was only resignation. The earth of Okinawa had not accepted him beneath its emerald shroud, leaving him to wander among the living like a sensei with no place in either a destroyed school or a nameless grave. He was bound, as they all were—the survivors—to this island by a memory heavier than any headstone.
“Let’s go, Yuriko,” Miko said quietly, touching her elbow. Her voice was even, devoid of condemnation—the voice of a doctor noting the inevitable.
Yuriko nodded. They got into the Willys. Ren Kimura, without a word, put the car into gear. The jeep lurched, its wheels whistling in the liquid clay, and the vehicle slowly rolled away along the broken rut, moving away from the Third Surgical Bunker.
Yuriko sat in the back, pressed against Miko, looking back through the slanted mesh of the April rain.
There, behind, two silhouettes dissolved in the gray mist.
One was a light, austere pillar of coral limestone, standing stubbornly before the black maw of the cave. An eternal, silent guardian of names, having absorbed the salt of the ocean and the tears of mothers.
And not far from it, beneath the heavy branches of the banyan—the motionless, dark figure of a man with a bamboo cane. A man left standing in the rain that this island would never, to the end of his days, be able to wash off him.
The truck ahead picked up speed, its rear vanishing behind the bend of the hill. From the cabin of the Studebaker, cutting through the steady hum of the engine and the rustle of water, came Hinata’s thin, uneven little voice. Quietly, without stumbling, the boy was singing “Tinsagu nu Hana”—a song about the balsam flowers used to dye nails, and about the words of parents that remain in the heart forever.
Yuriko closed her eyes. The scars on her left hand no longer burned. Everything had fallen into place. The world around had not returned to what it was, nor had it become just or kind. But it had found its proper, heavy earthly gravity. Just as a stone settles into place when it is finally brought to where it must stand forever.
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Chapter 19. The Proposal →